


Begin Again

by shinysylver



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath, Apologies, Conversations, Everybody Lives, Fights, Kylux Positivity Week 2020, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Resurrection, Second Chances, Starting Over, dealing with the past, of Exegol, or at least he's trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:06:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22582231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysylver/pseuds/shinysylver
Summary: Left for dead, a newly resurrected Ben Solo wanders the burning wasteland of post-battle Exegol in search of escape. Instead, he finds a seriously injured Hux.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 27
Kudos: 209
Collections: Kylux Positivity Week 2020





	Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Kylux Positivity Week Day 4: Second Chances. This fic is very loosely based on a sketch by heresetrash and some of the conversations we had after. I wanted to write what happened before the picture she drew. It also gave me the perfect chance to explore the new Ben/Hux dynamics which are a lot of fun. :D
> 
> Many thanks to huxandthehound for betaing and making my words sound so much better. :D
> 
> And thank you to Kylux fandom for the last three years of joy. I joined this fandom after The Last Jedi and I've made wonderful friends and had a great time. This fandom has also been a comfort and distraction for me during some of the worst times in my life. I'm glad I could participate in Kylux Positivity Week to express my gratitude to this fandom. Here's to many more years of Kylux!

_This is your second chance. Don't waste it._

Ben wandered through the wreckage that was Exegol, his mother's words echoing in his head. She’d sacrificed the last of her life force for him, to let him live. He didn’t know what to do with that, so he focused on the first step which was getting off of this burning wasteland of a planet.

Where there had once been a massive fleet unlike anything the Galaxy had ever seen, there was now nothing but destruction. All that was left of Palpatine's Final Order was the smoldering rubble from crashed ships and lifeless bodies scattered across the surface of the planet as far as the eye could see. 

Every so often, he reached out with the Force, searching for survivors, but if there were any they'd already fled. Maybe the Resistance had taken pity and evacuated the living. It was the sort of thing his mother would have done, and he found himself hoping for it.

Even in the face of such destruction, that tentative hope welled up inside him, trying to chase away his doubts. It was an unfamiliar feeling after so many years rejecting anything associated with the Light. Concern for the men who served under him was also a new thing, but now that the veil of darkness had been lifted from his eyes Ben found himself hoping his men were given a second chance. Most of the stormtroopers had served against their will and the lower level officers hadn't had much choice either. They didn't deserve to die for his mistakes.

Ben kept walking, carefully picking his way through the debris looking for a viable ship. He didn't know how long it had been since he'd died. Long enough for Rey and the rest of the Resistance to leave the area, but not long enough for the fires to have completely burned out.

He reached out with the Force again, trying to sense anything of use, but it was difficult. His mind felt stretched thin, the part of him that accessed the Force exhausted beyond all measure. He'd used most of his life force resurrecting Rey, and what little his mother had returned to him was barely keeping him going now. 

But he _had_ to keep going, no matter how hard it was, so that his mother's sacrifice wasn't in vain. He owed her that much.

He almost missed it, so focused on putting one foot in front of the other, when the slightest ripple in the Force brushed against his senses. Ben almost dismissed it as a figment of his exhausted imagination, but he took a deep breath and reached out again in the direction he'd felt that tenuous sign of life. He strained his perception almost to the limit and felt it again, stronger this time. 

Ben mentally grasped hold of the thread so that he wouldn't lose it and changed directions making his way directly into the wreckage of his former flagship, the _Steadfast_. He'd spent long enough on the ship that it felt almost like home. Even now that familiarity in the Force differentiated it from the other piles of twisted metal. 

The thread he was following thickened with each step, and before long he started to sense hints of emotion radiating down it. By the time he reached a largely intact shuttle they had coalesced into a bitter anger that was intimately familiar to Ben, and he was unsurprised to see General Hux. He was heavily bandaged and leaning against the shuttle with his eyes closed, although Ben doubted he could sleep through the misery he was projecting into the Force.

"General."

Hux's eyes flew open and his arm jerked up, blaster pointed at Ben. "You should be dead."

"I was." Ben waved his hand and the blaster flew out of Hux's grasp, landing several feet away. It was an easy thing, something he'd done countless times without thought in the past, but this time the exertion was almost too much for him. "But not anymore."

Hux laughed bitterly. "Of course you can't die." He threw out a hand, gesturing to the wasteland around them. "I did this, all of this, to kill you--to finally win--and yet you're still here."

Ben was growing lightheaded, the use of the Force utterly draining him. He sat down several feet from Hux, trying to make it look casual and less like an exhausted collapse. "I should probably thank you. For alerting the Resistance."

Ben actually meant it. Without the Resistance showing up when they did there was no way they would have won. It didn't matter what his motivations had been, Hux's actions had helped win the battle. 

Hux furrowed his brow, clearly thrown by Ben's words. He leaned forward, keeping one arm wrapped tightly around his torso, and stared intently at Ben. "Where's your scar? Are you some twisted clone? Please tell me there aren't more of you."

Ben raised his hand to his cheek, feeling the unmarked skin. He hadn't looked in a mirror since Rey had healed him, but apparently the warmth he'd felt rushing through him had healed more than just his mortal wound. 

"No, not a clone." Ben shuddered, remembering the containers with rejected, half-formed Snoke clones floating in them. "At least I hope Palpatine doesn't have a stash of Ben clones hidden somewhere."

"Ben?" Hux asked. "You never call yourself Ben."

"Kylo Ren is dead," Ben said, echoing his father's memory. "Ben is what's left."

Hux huffed out an annoyed sigh and slumped back against the shuttle. "You always have to make everything so complicated."

Hux was breathing shallowly and sweat dotted his forehead. Ben could feel the pain he was trying to hide and so he crawled closer and hovered his hand over Hux's chest, examining his wounds with the Force. He had a cracked sternum, several broken ribs, and internal bleeding from what appeared to be a blaster shot that had been set to kill. It was a miracle he was alive at all. The lack of burns indicated he’d been wearing a protective vest. 

If Ben hadn't already depleted his life force he would be able to heal the damage, but as it was Hux needed medical attention and soon. "You need a bacta tank."

"You think?" Hux asked sarcastically. He waved Ben away. "Leave me to die in peace."

Ben could. Hux wasn't one of those stormtroopers or lower level officers that had been in over their heads. Hux had relished in his power, taking great pleasure in the destruction he'd wrought. 

But then again so had Ben. 

"No," Ben said. He struggled to his feet and poked his head into the shuttle. Everything seemed to be in working order. "Why haven't you left?"

"The navigation system is worthless. It can't tell which way is up, and even if I made it out of Exegol's gravity there is no way I'd make it back to known space." Hux's eyes were empty, his always present anger fading in the face of grim reality. "And if I did make it out, where would I go? Better to die here."

"Are you really going to just give up like a coward?"

"Why not?" Hux asked. "I played the last card I had up my sleeve and yet you're still standing. It's time to fold."

Ben crouched down and looked Hux directly in the eyes. "Every time I called you a coward before, you proved me wrong. Are you really going to let me be right this time?"

"Why do you even care?" Hux sneered.

"Because everyone deserves a second chance," Ben said. "My mother believed I deserved a second chance even after everything I've done. The least I can do is give you the same chance. I owe you that."

"You owe me more than that," Hux scoffed. He paused and sighed, his face growing serious. "Besides, I’m not like you. I wasn't just playing at this life, trying to piss off mummy. You may not like what I would do with a second chance."

Ben didn't appreciate the implication that he had just been rebelling against his mother for the last seven years, that he was little more than a spoiled child. He leaned forward and locked eyes with Hux. "Perhaps you should ask yourself how much of the last thirty-five years of your life have been about proving your father wrong."

"I hate you," Hux snapped, pushing roughly at Ben’s arm. "I can't believe I ever thought we could be allies."

For the briefest moment the bare skin of Hux’s hand touched Ben’s exposed wrist and he got a flash of the true pain that Hux felt. Hux was excellent at hiding his emotions behind a veil of anger, but the contact exposed the feelings underneath. It was a mixture of bitter humiliation and deep insecurities that had been years in the making. Feelings that were made more vitriolic by their complicated past.

Realizing the truth of Hux’s feelings, Ben’s irritation faded. Instead, memories of the first time they met hit him and he wasn’t entirely sure if they were his or Hux’s. He’d been even more unstable then, newly apprenticed to Snoke and embracing all of his darker emotions for the first time—including lust. He’d never allowed himself to explore those feelings until he met Hux, but Hux had been looking for something else. Something more.

"I'm sorry." 

"For what?" Hux asked. "Demoting me? Choking me? Throwing me against a wall? Telling me I meant nothing before the come had a chance to dry?" 

Ben reeled back. Hux's words were like a physical blow, each one a painful reminder of the things he'd done, the things that he could never undo. The man who’d been capable of doing those things felt like another person, but he knew that was a flimsy excuse. He couldn’t run from his past anymore. 

"For all of it," Ben whispered. 

"Apologies mean nothing." Hux’s face was blank, a show of control that did nothing to hide his internal turmoil. Now that Ben knew the truth of Hux’s feelings, he couldn’t believe he’d missed them all of these years. Of course when he'd been Kylo he hadn't cared enough to pay attention.

Ben nodded. "You're right." He stood up and extended a hand to Hux. "Let me show you how sorry I am. Starting with getting us off of this planet.”

Hux stared at his hand for a long time, long enough that Ben almost dropped it. “You don’t want to die in obscurity, Hux. Not with me still alive and well. That’s not winning.”

Hux narrowed his eyes at Ben, but he grabbed his hand. Ben was acutely aware of how injured Hux was, so he risked using the Force again, to help him pull him up as gently as possible. 

"I didn't really want to die anyway," Hux muttered.

"Good," Ben said. He slid his arm around Hux's waist and helped him into the shuttle. 

Once he had Hux settled in the cockpit he took the pilot's seat. He could use the Force to navigate them off of Exegol and then he should be able to follow Rey's markers back to known space. 

"Where are we going?"

"I can follow Rey back to the Resistance base."

"Are you kidding me?" Hux asked. "They'll throw us both in prison--if they don't just shoot first."

"You're a Resistance spy," Ben pointed out. "And I saved Rey's life. We'll be fine."

"You're insane," Hux slumped back into the chair. "This is a horrible apology. Not that I expected better from you."

Hux didn't actually sound mad, just resigned, and Ben took that as a good sign. He impulsively reached out and covered Hux’s hand with his own. "I promise that I won't let anything happen to you."

"I'm not stupid. I've noticed how weak you are. You barely managed to disarm me," Hux said. He looked down at their hands, but didn't make a move to pull away. "I don't think you can take out an entire enemy base on your own."

"They aren't the enemy anymore." Ben grinned at Hux. "Besides, I'm not alone. I've got you for back up."

"Of course. Maybe I'll manage to take one of them out while falling over," Hux said dryly, but he couldn't quite hide the tentative smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

Ben squeezed Hux's hand once before turning his attention to the controls. "They won't know what hit them."

Making things right with Hux might take a lifetime, but Ben was feeling optimistic about his odds. He doubted that this is what his mother expected him to do with his second chance, but he liked to think she would understand. 

After all, he had to start somewhere. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are much appreciated.
> 
> You can find my social media information in my profile. :D


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